iN_TRO / 0:00
iA.
This image* was learned in early memory by me and some others as the gateway to all media. The sound of the tape even now is nearly primal, primeval, prenatal… It conjures the countless times that same blue screen reflected in our bright, collective eyes - the storytelling initiation of a whole generation… mine. Let the ritual begin. #VHS4ever
*I actually use two clips here spliced together.
iB.
These overlaid orange bits are from the scan of my 16mm film, writing along the leader tape by the “boys” in Toronto who “run it through the chemistry.”* It probably says my name or Tubcake or the University of Utah or something like that…
*These “quotes” are how Chair & Professor, Kevin Hanson, talks about our 16mm development process.
iC.
This is Monroe, Utah. Doug took the drone out early by himself the last day, capturing the frosty, beautiful valley - using my cousin Conner’s DGI Phantom he let me borrow (& made me promise I’d be the only one to operate - sorry! Doug is better), the drone Doug & Sid picked up in Hollywood before they drove out. Wow - so many favors in one shot. Thanks, dudes.
iD.
The song is Madge, “Fight or Flight Club.”* We were kids together - beehives, nerds, Mormons together. Now, she’s an uber-chic, shaved-head, up-and-coming mega-artist / producer. I was obsessed with her sound through production… Her music makes me feel like it must all be worth it - somehow. So, in the edit, it’s like the footage called for it; summoned it. (Dude, I get superstitious when it comes to soundtrack.)
*I do not “own” the “rights” to any of the music. this is “academic” work. this is “fan fiction.” this is personal distribution. this is “fair use,” for sure.
iE.
I just found this U logo online. I ripped it with one of those shady YouTube to mp3 websites (with outrageous clickbait advertising like “What Does the Human Barbie Look Like Without Make-Up” - sadly, I do know), the same way I pulled all of the various, re-appropriated clips to come in similar fashion.
iF.
The instinct to add the flashes of color came as a whim in the edit, unknowingly setting a stylistic precedent for the piece.
iG.
“I was basically born believing in angels…” These words were part of the foundation for the whole thing. They came to me very early on in the configuring of the concept. I wrote a very a-typical script - experimenting with form and process. A version of this voice-over did exist before shooting, but it included this disclaimer: “Voiceover meant to evolve throughout shooting - final writing in the edit.” I always intended to learn the piece through making it, discover it through manifestation. So, I recorded & rewrote & re-recorded bit by bit as I edited.
iH.
This is the Angel Moroni - the last Book of Mormon prophet (the golden guy on the top of Mormon temples) who appeared to Joseph Smith (the first Mormon prophet*) and showed him where he, the last of his kind, had buried the Golden Plates on which was transcribed the record of his people, later “translated” as the Book of Mormon. (See the tiny golden plates in his tiny hands?) Well, actually - obviously - it’s an action figure of Angel Moroni. And, well - literally I think it’s technically the prophet Mormon (Moroni’s dad who abridged the record, which is why it’s called The Book of Mormon…) BUT, the Moroni figurine isn’t quite as cool as this one. So, I just like to think of this one as the Angel Moroni, ALL RIGHT?
*This verbatim phrasing references a line from the a&b millennial manifesto. At that time, my mother pointed out to me that adam is actually the first mormon prophet, since mormons believe the bible. Touchè, brenda. But, it still makes sense somehow.
iI.
Smoking. I know… how cliche. I overheard someone who glimpsed my footage at school joke with a peer about how emo film students always have to smoke in their films…
iJ.
I first bought this Angel Moroni figurine when on the road-trip with Atlantic. In Kirtland, I think. Or, maybe Nauvoo, but I don’t think so. I promptly tied him to the rearview mirror of the Adventure Mobile* with floss, and he rode there - leading the way - until the end. I don’t remember exactly when he got ripped down. But, I’m sure it was a fit from Atlantic, perhaps the one where he shattered my Nevermind CD, too.
*That’s what we called our pt cruiser we lived out of for 6 weeks while filming (the yet unfinished) manifest extasy. Atlantic got to keep the car.
iK.
But, my smoking depictions are habitually self-referential, invoking a short story I wrote at NYU in undergrad, 2009ish, called “How To Win Him.” It’s the first story I ever wrote that actually felt like something, you know? It felt real because it was real. The story of a girl, a virgin, who can’t have sex with her new boyfriend even though she wants to, finds out he slept with someone else, smokes a whole pack of cigarettes…
iL.
I remembered this field when I wrote the script. I’d seen it in the Fall, so I wrote it full of cornstalks. But, we filmed the movie in March. And, somehow the barren, snow-crest lines are far better than what I could have ever intended anyway.
iM.
“You like how gray the smoke looks coming out of you, how black your lungs feel on the inside. It was the whiteness, you know, that did this to you…” Every cigarette I’ve ever smoked - on-screen, metaphorically, or otherwise - has been a manifestation of this sensation in one way or another. My playwright friend Robert liked the story, encouraged me to send it for publication consideration. I got a handwritten rejection from The New Yorker that I still have somewhere.
When I went to Chapman, (Atlantic &) I made “How To Win Him”* into a short film that was never finished (surprise, surprise). Lauren Call, to her credit, smoked a lot of cigarettes in my effigy. And, though we missed the deadline for the official screening, we did have a tearful, private showing in the edit bay for Lauren & her mom, and that was enough.
*the password is IN LOWERCASE LETTERS: “H2WH”
iN.
Look - my nails are blue. Did you know you can track the different TUBcake production timeframes by how my nails look? Blue means mid-main-shooting — post Salt Flats and pre blackout at the end. I’ll point them out to you — don’t worry.
iO.
Jose shot this coverage on his Sony A7s ii on our way down to Mystic Hot Springs for the second half of shooting (Lindsey was in the back seat) — a day and a half since we wrapped at the Salt Flats. The whole crew stopped for breakfast that morning at my parents’ in Springville . Everyone said the waffles were the best they’d ever had. And, they really are. In high school I wrote an essay about my Pop’s waffles that won a contest. No joke.
iP.
Thanks be to Trent Harris for morphing my concept of other-worldly angels into literal SpaceMen.
iQ.
This shot was very important to me. A frame specifically designed to drop “TUBcake” into - evoking an iconic trope, so to speak, of a classically, dramatically introduced title. It’s almost like TUBcake is playing at being a movie, and these little self-aware moments punctuate & accentuate that play.
iR.
If you look closely, you can tell it’s a foreign cigarette. Thanks, Sid, for lending me one in a pinch!
iS.
Theodore* designed the logo for me — also in a pinch — initially intended to be made into kodalith titles that never got finished. I had a deadline to turn it in & he rushed and made it happen. I told him he was my kodalith hero. And now that moment is crystalized in the perfect logo — better than I ever expected — eternally born out of that brief, happy moment.
*It’s an alias, obvi.
iT.
I cannot take credit for coining the title. That was all my (now) dear friend, Elizabeth. My new-found friendship with her was one of the greatest take-aways from my pre-Janus* experience. At some point in the car, on the way up or the way back (I can’t remember which), she said she should call the project “TUBcake” & I knew immediately that was it. Brilliant!
*an alternate label for the u’s women’s film project.
iU.
The music is Madge again: “Red James.” The beat so visceral… It was in my veins… my brains… But, then I splice it with: