EPi_LOGUe / 17:11
EA.
Same soundtrack as the beginning. Peaceful Rural Farm Ambient Soundscape: I found online, ripped, & downloaded.
EB.
This shot is meant to match the first shot* of the (unlabeled) Prologue. A little flare across the nose of the bus this time.
*THE FIRST SHOT FILMED FOR THE MOVIE BY GABBY WITH THE JANUS CREW.
EC.
The idea here is a passing-of-torch with the camera from me to Jose. I’ve learned that my main goal in opening up & sharing my personal story in my art is to encourage others to do so.*
*Even though here everything jose does with the bolex is pantomime, he now knows how to shoot and damn good, too. i’ve taught him over my last couple b-roll shoots for my thesis. And, he shot a lot of material in new york and la that I’ll use in the piece.
ED.
EF.
It was important to me that the "p” in “Epilogue” is semi-centered around a sticker on the door. Weird, I know. That’s all.
EG.
I love those stinking overalls.* Love that he wore them that day.
*Overalls remind him of his grandfather.
EH.
This insert is actually from the Janus shoot, the actual shot of me operating as I go in the bus the first time (the alternate take from the one I use at the beginning). We forgot to film it again on the final day. But, I realized in the end it didn’t really matter.
EI.
I wrote this final piece of voice-over once I reached this point in the edit… really. Just like I had intended to all along. I didn’t really know what it all meant myself until I manifested it & finally got to watch it all back. And these words, just sort of rolled out of me, written in Sharpie on my notebook made from a copy of the golden book “There’s a Monster at the End…”
EJ.
The song is The XX, “Intro” (sort of ironic that it’s used at the end, isn’t it?) A beautiful song I’d always known I’d want to use somewhere someday. And, I really think it perfectly fits here.
EK.
This POV entering the bus is my operation, too, from the pre-shoot with Janus. Jose opens the door so ferociously, it sort of smacks back against the bus. So, in the edit, I needed a way to cut-away from that sort of distracting smack without breaking the flow or the mood of the moment (we only did one take…) So, I used this lil’ piece of my POV that I didn’t use at the start.
EL.
This was the first set-up we shot on the final day. We started with the stuff in the bus. And what was once documented solitarily like an alien planet at the beginning is now warm & inhabited — inviting, full of friends drinking & playing games.
EM.
We’ve embellished the space now, added BJB details to the already decked-out-in-personality bus. See the blue flower pinwheel in the back from the last sequence with the tubs. My Los Angeles backpack* sitting on the barber chair where I sat the night earlier getting my hair dyed by my besties. My crosses scarf & skull scarf both tied to the ladder in the foreground frame left. An itty-bitty ducky placed frame right.
*that I bought at lax on my way to thailand when my college backpack chose that moment to croak.
EN.
This is Doug actually operating now. Remember at this point, Jose only pantomimes. I love Alekh in this shot, boyish & jubilant, letting us know it’s a party with a single blow.
EO.
Ha. The Fireball. We did a couple takes of this shot with the GH5 & then we did the film… and by the end, the three of them were rather tipsy for, like, 11am in the morning. #sorrynotsorry
EP.
I love that they’re playing Sorry. Chromatically it’s a perfect fit for this very colorful ending. And, the implied idea is that “sorry” is just a game now, a thing of the past. Always feeling sorry for myself & being apologetic to everyone else — done.*
*This is also reference to the trailer I made for manifest extasy where I wear a turtleneck shirt that says “i’m not sorry” on the neck and I even say the words: “I’m. not. sorry.” at the very end. #ownership
EQ.
“Empowerment” is a major theme in the movie. Men don’t protect you anymore… they empower you. It’s meant to be somewhat of a love letter to those who have been there for me & a testament to the enabling power we have over each other.
ER.
This is, yes, another favorite shot in the film. The slow-motion barbies with the bubbles. It was important to me that we play barbies at the end, a sort of return to our communal childhood. These are my actual barbies from when I was little. I was definitely a barbie girl, always enthralled in an epic saga with my own little cast of peoples. Filmmaking is sort of like an adult game of barbie with a camera. I love how the barbies proudly show their wear-&-tear… sort of like us girls — Robin, Linds, & me — we’ve seen our fair share of that the three of us.
ES.
The SpaceWoman barbie is supposed to represent the new me… the product of all that experience, transitioned after the vision. I’m going to continue to use this barbie as a representation of me throughout my next film, my memoir-ish thesis project. Jose & I took her to New York & LA & shot her on 16mm.*
*on this trip, after explaining to him what the barbie represents to me, jose’s cousin lalo dubbed her: “post-woke barbie.” and, it’s stuck. it’s really stuck.
ET.
The little narrative we are actually playing out here is me (& Jose) arriving on the scene of the Janus project* & the girls trying to take us down to no avail, because TUBcake happened.
*If you notice, robin’s black-haired gabby barbie smashes down on the long-haired ken (obvi jose).
EU.
I was actually filming this iPhone footage while we shot everything else. I love the major black bars on either side that telegraph to the audience that we’re looking at a phone view.
EV.
I really love Ty in this scene. He was such a trooper & came & was a part of this scene for me & for Robin. It was hard to cut to him in the edit, though, without breaking the flow. But, I love that you get a glimpse of him here & I’ll give him his “moment” during the credit sequence at the end. Thanks, Ty!
EW.
Look! A bubble popped on the lens left this bb bokeh.
EX.
Notice Linds is wearing a pink mesh hand accessory that was from my Chapman short What Happens in Arizona*… & I’m wearing a black hand accessory that was from my short Sirens.
*password is “swayze” (lowercase)
EY.
“…into cake on golden plates with friends in hot spring bath tubs, & all of it’s on camera.”* Perhaps my favorite wording in the whole thing — a great moment when it all builds there… the music, the visuals, the rhythm of the words, to finally turn the camera back onto me for a moment, engaging directly with it.
*also some favorite wording of my committee chair at the u, sarah sinwell. she mentioned it specifically.
EZ.
I’m really shooting with my iPhone while Doug (you can see him) films with the GH5 in the background. Jose, though, is not actually rolling with the Bolex here. In practice, we are both as transparent as possible about the movie magic happening but still manipulating your view through the editing & sound.
Ea.
I love the little dance with his little hips here in the overalls :)
Eb.
Here’s Doug’s GH5 shot while I actually shoot with my iPhone.*
*the case is from society6. my brother thinks it’s weird. but my mother likes it better than the one I had that looked like a warhol frankenstein. #rip**
**I ACTUALLY JUST GOT MYSELF A NEW CASE FOR MY BIRTHDAY. THIS ONE HAS A SPACEMAN ON IT, WAITING IN THE RAIN FOR ME TO FINISH MY GOLDEN PLATES I.E. NEXT MOVIE.
Ec.
My face here. That’s the real thing.
Ed.
Notice some BJB improvements in the background. That’s my “Reserved”* sign & tape recorder thingy on the right, & my chunky set of Christmas lights** strung the back, too, I think.
*i stole it from a restaurant once in nyc during my low-key klepto period. i still have it in my room now.
**i think my mom sent this particular set to me in a christmas package years ago and I have had them up in my room and taken them with me on several moves since. even now as I type, they string above me across the ceiling. it’s a dark day. I should go turn them on.
Ee.
We had to shoot this separately with Doug operating. But, it really does seamlessly cut in here — an illusion of simultaneity.
Ef.
“My people” — I love using that phrase. An important feature of Neo BJB (“Post-Woke Barbie”) is a renaissance of her connection with her Mormon heritage, a belief that she is an extension of the pioneers in her ancestry, in her own way…
Eg.
I love how you can see Doug’s feet in the shot here. Further & further behind that Oz curtain. I remember him getting into his spot that day & starting to tell me that he can’t help but get his feet in the shot, & then he was just, like, “You know what? Forget it. I get it. You can see my feet in this shot. Let’s roll.”
Eh.
This is the first time we actually go into the VW-bus loft of the Ben Bus. See, I was saving it for the end. It’s the best part of the hippie hideout; as a kid, anything with a ladder is just more fun.
*as a kid, the house my dad built us had a loft you had to climb a pvc pipe ladder to get to. we loved it.
Ei.
These words are church words to me… “tribulation,” “crucible,”* “adversity” — I’m reclaiming the power verbiage from my youth.
*this is also a reference to the play, of course, and the iconic scene from the movie with daniel day lewis playing john proctor screaming, “but it is my name!”
Ej.
I love that you get a full view of Doug here with his GH5 set-up, laying back in the loft with his socks on, on 16mm no less. #OZ
Ek.
I love this little kiss. Empowering but not over-powering. #cute
El.
I take my hood off so you can see my black hair at the end.
Em.
Perfect flash frame for my transition here. Thanks, Bolex!
En.
My mom gave me this journal a couple Christmases ago. I’m very into journals & rather superstitious about how & when each one is used. I think I’m somewhat of an artistic hoarder, too. I see potential in all things & will randomly hold on to the weirdest things through ridiculous moves because I “might” need to use it in a piece one day. This journal was like that. It struck me from the moment I opened it - “Write Your Own Story.” It’s like the entire struggle of my life demystified. All I had to do was tell my own story. I never wrote in it & kept it, because I knew I’d use it in something some day. And, when TUBcake originated in my mind, this journal was always sort of inherently part of the ending. I modeled the Deseret alphabet message from the SpaceMan on the "gold plates” after this — my realistic dramatization of starting my own scripture.
Eo.
I love that we placed my computer here in the wider shot, too, sticker-clad showing evidence of years & years of use & wear — also a tool I’d used a lot for most of my writing over time.*
*now jose uses that computer and i finally GOT a macbook pro - it has a society6 skin on it from the same artist as my phone case. it’s the next iteration of my artistic tool
Ep.
That’s also my “DIRECTOR” hat that Atlantic bought for me after I switched from Screenwriting into Directing at Chapman.
Eq.
“…atonement through transparency, to add a verse of scripture to the great communal diary…” — some favorite lines, too.
Er.
I love how the little spot from the bubble bursting on the lens from earlier creates a little halo effect around my head here.
Es.
And, no one would know this (until now, I guess), that this line for me is heavily referential to the trailer I made for Manifest Extasy (that I finished editing in my cousin Jeremy’s RV in a RV park in Heber before we went & projected it in an alleyway up at the Sundance film festival in 2016, I think). I wrote & filmed the narration bit to it one day while Atlantic was at work. I was too sick to work & I’m pretty obviously distressed in the piece.
But it was a breaking moment for me — a founding moment of a new mojo, so to speak. In the trailer, I sort of call out the Mormon Church (in a fashion I don’t really feel the need to use anymore) but what I was really doing was breaking away from the absolute power in my life, who was Atlantic. At the end of the trailer I say, with a rather strong & almost cocky voice — “See, I finally found my voice.” At that moment, I was on the precipice of making a leap with my creativity. The irony is, I think it’s going to happen right then. Instead, I get to glimpse it right before my whole life goes to absolute shit & I have to spend years rebuilding my life & my sanity & especially my creativity. When I came back to Utah & started to heal, I had the longest writers block of my life. I thought I may not write again, the cost for my repairing health. My therapist told me over & over again to be patient. And, 18 months later, I first, finally, get an idea for a film… And, TUBcake is what came out.* But this time, I needed help & I knew it. The whole thing is about me finding my voice through the community of others.
*THIS LINE STITCHES TOGETHER THE LAST THING I MADE (THAT NEARLY KILLED ME) AND THIS NEW THING AS THE NEW ME.
Et.
“Chorus” is also a direct reference to an article* I read (& wrote about) in the Spring about (one of my absolute favorite films) Stories We Tell by Sarah Polley that identifies the genre of the piece as a “choral narrative.” I wrote a 25-page paper about it in the Spring semester. It’s the type of thing I hope to emulate.
*leah anderst, “memory’s chorus: stories we tell and sarah polley’s theory of autobiography”
Eu.
This is the last official view you get of me in the narrative, writing in my journal, my own set of gold plates (we couldn’t find the feather the SpaceMan had given me so we went with a normal pen, & I like it, in that I don’t think about it at all).
Then, flash frame transition & we’re really headed for the end.
Ev.
I had specifically wanted a drone shot moving up & away from the bus at the very end — like the SpaceMan leaving the scene. I don’t know if it was Jose or Doug (I just know it wasn’t me) who on the day had the idea for him to put the helmet on & stand on the hood for one take. But, when I saw the footage, I knew immediately it would be my “final shot.” I love the way you see Jose get down & start to walk away just before Doug tilts the drone camera up towards the horizon, rather perfect operation.
Ew.
This font is called “The End of Times.” Most of the fonts used in the movie are pulled from dafont.com & were brought to my attention by searches for the keywords “cake” & “tub” (go figure). Here are a few other font names used in the film:*
Princess Cake
Hot Cakes
Lemon Cake
BB Cakes
Cheese Cake
Sugar Cakes
CAKE N TRUFFLES
Gothic Birthday Cake
*THE FONTS USED FOR THE FOOTNOTE ANNOTATIONS ARE:
against modern football
and then it ends
ransom note
endless notes
italian football
million notes
note of terror
noteworthy
foot fight
ninja note
Ex.
I love all the humble context you get here of the land surrounding the magical bus — mobile homes & patchy ground.
Ey.
That’s my grandmother I reference in the beginning — my Grandma Hazel — the one who gifted me the “eat-cake-on-camera” story that I carried with me from that moment. It gave me hope to try art again when I was ready to open up again.
Ez.
With this I mean all the men in my life who have formed & empowered me in one way or another. Namely every man mentioned at some point here in this FOOTnote narrative:
Jose (of course, first-&-foremost)
Theodore (undeniably)
Atlantic (unavoidably)
My Pop (most affectionately)
Doug (so indebtedly)
Sid (so gratefully)
Brice Baird (amazedly)
Aaron Moura (sincerely)
Alekh Chapman (most dearly)
Tyrel James (sensationally)
My brothers (the BBB*)
My cousins
My friends
Etc.*
*there’s a sort of passing-the-torch sensation to this moment, too - from the spacemen to me, the legions of spacemen in my ancestry… the moroni’s and the gordon b. hinckley’s and the joseph smith’s… it’s my turn to perform my sacred mission on this earth; it’s time to tell my story. It’s a preamble, don’t you see? for what’s to come. this was a metaphor for how I found my back to a microphone. now, time to use it.
EAA.
I love that it’s the mountain horizon that bumps the SpaceMan off the screen. And, I love how you can see the propellors of the drone at the very end there, the final image behind the curtain.
EBB.
There’s Theodore’s title again. So unbelievably perfect & professional-looking. I’m lucky to have it. If I ever get those kodaliths back,* this is where I’ll put those titles, but of course still cycling through the now iconic TUBcake motif of colors…