3_BReACH / 14:31
3a.
First, a reminder of the SpaceMan’s promise given for obedience, sped up this time to sound high-pitched & cartoonish: “And, you shall be healed” — parallel to the slowed-down “bathe three times” reminder given in the first wash. And then, a snippet from the short “Epilogue” by Mae to their The Everglow album, full circle with the “Prologue” in the 1st wash.
3b.
I had to bring each felt-board wash-title in with smoke, per the (cool) precedent Jose set with his hookah (of course) on the first one. I like how this final one turned out — following in the same line but a little different this time — animated.
3c.
/brēCH/ Verb; make a gap in & break through (a barrier or defense).
3d.
I’m rather sure this is from the crop of GoPro footage I picked up when the tub was out on the porch of Jose’s old apartment. I used one of the leftover black-ish bath bombs to get the coloration. See, the idea is that the tar residue is on / with me.
3e.
So, I’m birthed back to “real life” (ish) now — the same tub I entered into. Except, now I’m changed because of the transformative power of the vision, the acceptance of my own sins, flaws, & pains,* ultimately independent & unafraid.
*in mormonism, jesus atones for all these things.
3f.
Do you notice how the tub is black? I used a black bath bomb in it. And, do you notice the little duckies positioned all around the tub now? They’re unicorn duckies. “Real” now a lil “extra.”
3g.
See the frame? This is the first time I show the full frame scan in color - with the frame above & below & the side perforations.
3h.
See my hair? It’s black now… a physical signifier of the inner “change” enacted by the symbolic tar-&-feather ritual.
3i.
The song is Madge again (full circle!) - Alice.* This song was actually released after the shooting of TUBcake & even after the editing of the intro through the credit sequence (& the utilization of two Madge songs already). It seemed like destiny, like it was already, immediately somewhere in the film. I listened to it over & over again — pumped up loud in my car on the way to work in Lehi at a solar start-up. It was fatalistic.
*Isn’t that fitting? Like a sign from wonderland…
So then weeks later, when continuing the edit, I get to this scene & it needs the right sound… And like magic, I reached for the secret predetermined piece & it fits like butter (is that a saying?) What I mean is, it’s the perfect sound for my vision.**
**ironically, the lyrics are actually rather sinister.
3j.
Notice my fingernails? Freshly painted black, too.*
*and my mood ring has been exchanged for my gold butt club ring, promoting a pride in my shape**
**I have “pioneer hips” as grandma hazel used to say
3k.
I’m wearing a skeleton leotard. I have a thing for skulls & skeletons, certainly fueled by the fact that they repulsed my mother. Nonetheless, I have a perma-affinity. It’s certainly something very representative of “me” & being laid bare.*
*This is how bjb does sexy. I mean, it has snaps…
3l.
Doug nailed this shot. Jose out of focus wearing the SpaceMan helmet, holding out the cake, flare in the background… The idea is that she can’t quite see clearly - Is it the SpaceMan? What’s that he’s holding? Questions without enough time to answer.
3m.
I love that we did this as an ECU. It’s perhaps the tightest shot on my face in the whole piece, and on film, no less. I love the clearly distinct identification you see in my eyes: it’s Jose.*
*Of course it’s jose… it’s always been jose…
3n.
And, if Doug killed it in the last two shots, he really killed it here. And, Jose did, too. One take, nailed it.* #thatSUNthough
*But what he doin’ with that lens?? haha.
3o.
The idea is that the SpaceMan has sort of “passed the baton” to Jose… not to protect me. BUT, to empower me, inspire me. But also, yes, there’s the awareness, too, that it was Jose all along.
3p.
And, once I see the SpaceMan is gone, I realize the cake is in my hands - the one he was previously extending… a parting gift… a final ritual. And the cake comes with a gold crown & adorning sunglasses.* I’ve been sainted, in a way, anointed for passing some spiritual test. Bestowed the gift of cake & company.**
*Atlantic and I bought that crown at some store in a dallas mall on a whim. He has one, too, if I remember right. we wore them once in a very experimental photo shoot we did while camping. even then, it was a symbol for the people we thought we really were. the sunglasses my mother gave to me, i’m pretty sure.
**I sort of love how you can visibly see the smushed side of the cake. it was really hard to get it to last through the travel and all the hubub. we did a pretty good job, except for one big smush. but, that’s life. I also love how you can see the tiny little shadow of a unicorn ducky on my arm here. It’s the small things.
3q.
There it is… the big smush up close. And the lettering in yellow that needs subtitling. Honestly, I love it all. I love the idea that it got smushed on the SpaceMan’s intergalactic travel. Also, I hope this is the moment where you realize there is light-hearted humor in all this. #ShareWithFriends #HeartSpaceMan
3r.
This is perhaps my favorite moment in the whole thing, when I wave & we cut to reveal that my friends are there & my other friends, too, the same goofs there in the vision (more or less). It’s movie magic, in a tongue-&-cheek sort of way. The situation of these tubs is not literal. We could not literally wave to each other from where each is actually sitting. And, of course, we’re not all there at the same time.* But, that’s the magic of it all, one I’m winking at you to notice. It’s all illusion.
It’s a physicalized personification of the eat-cake-on-camera sentiment — symbolizing all of these parallel moments of need, parallel moments with cake in parallel bath tubs — made triumphant in the dramatized simultaneity of it all actually.
*DURING THEIR SHOTS I’M ACTUALLY RIGHT OFF-SCREEN, DIRECTING IN MY PANDA ONESIE
3s.
This is the last scene we filmed. And, you can really feel it. I love the look on all their faces when they pseudo see “me.” And, I love the surrealist wonderfulness of being in bathtubs in this landscape with cupcakes on golden plates. It’s silly & perfect.
3t.
Did you notice the “set decoration?” Some of my childhood barbies in their pink barbie car. Unicorn duckies. A blue pinwheel.* And, each set-up has their own camera to “record” the about-to-happen cake-eating. This is Jose’s Sony A7 s ii.
*from when jose and I threw a blue-themed birthday party for his cousin luis who we call “Blu.”
3u.
These cupcakes were made by mother, miniature versions of her traditional chocolate cake / chocolate frosting / rainbow sprinkles birthday cake. It’s the best cake in the whole world.
3v.
This take was the rehearsal. But, I liked it even more than the “real” take. Looser. And, they do their little hand gesture in preparation for the take & it’s just so them & went so perfectly with the music right at the moment I needed it to.
3w.
If you notice, Sid’s got my Super 8 camera from earlier in the film. And, Doug is operating the drone! I just think that’s great. Because, Doug operates every drone shot you see in the film, & here he’s dramatized flying the drone, even looking up “at it” at the beginning of the “take” (but, it’s not actually up right then).
3x.
Sid’s got the top hat on, like he does in the vision sequence when he helps dump the water on me. And, Doug’s wearing a hat my Uncle Stan bought me two Thanksgiving’s ago in some little town in Texas. Lindsey put tattoos on both their faces; everyone was supposed to have them. Some more willing…
3y.
I love how his hair is crystalized here in it’s long form. I’ll have always fallen in love with him with long hair. It’s short now, & looks so stinking cute that way, too. But, I love it here. And, if you can notice, he’s got a tattoo on his cheek, too. It’s an infinity symbol, a token of the SpaceMan, as well. Eternity will forever be a factor in love for me. I was just taught it that way.
3z.
Now this shot — I really think this one is my favorite. Doug’s best, best work. The flare & the way the wet rock looks. A little voyeur. A little otherworldly. Definitely more-than real.
3A.
I love the little affectations you get with the Bolex — light leaks & flashes & grain. I love to mine out the lil’ imperfections & use them as transitions & just overall character for the look.
3B.
If you notice, everyone’s cake is on a golden plate,* the next iteration of the gold plates gifted to me by the SpaceMan in the vision on which I was to write my story. It’s supposed to both be tongue-and-cheek & imply that all our stories overlap.
*the big cake is on a gold platter i found at di and everyone else’s gold plates were spray-painted.
3C.
I love how you can see Doug’s shadow in this shot that he is operating on his GH5. A textbook no-no but not in my film!
3D.
I love cutting out to the wide shot of the both of them in the same tub here, now with their cake, toasting: each other, me the production, all of it! Flamingos* on the rocks next to them.
*left over from when jose was the production designer on brad davis’ film before we met. now brad’s a screenwriter at chapman like i once was.
3E.
This is the first faux ending. Since, the film began so many times, it must end many times. I use the ending of the song here to allude to an almost-ending… But, we haven’t even eaten yet.
3F.
I love the way Doug flicks the water off his fingers here, reaching for his cupcake. It’s got a very all-right-lets-get-this-over-with tonality to it. I love it because I remember that it’s not like they wanted to do this, necessarily. Doug, especially. Amazing cameraman who doesn’t like to be on camera. Before the shot, this the final shot of the whole thing, you can hear him on the clip talking about how this is blackmail material. But, he did it. He did it for me. They all did. I needed to know people would. And, I’m forever grateful that they did.
3G.
Now, this is perhaps not my smoothest transition. Perhaps the least “smooth” in the whole thing. But, I don’t mind it here… after the first faux ending… it sort of has an “oh wait — there’s more!” sensation to it. I use Jose’s kiss on my cheek as the trigger moment, cues the next music, & a look back in time.
3H.
This is a reprise of the TUBcake theme song, sampling Sylvia Plath reading Lady Lazarus. I told Theodore before he wrote the music that I was thinking it would be cool to somehow incorporate the Plath poem into the song. And, I loved what he did with it — the piece he chose to include & how it flows…*
*a poem that references the biblical, miracle Lazarus. about wishing you were dead. a poem about habitual resurrection. about ownership, even pride, in one’s own pain, one’s own beautiful tragedy.
3I.
This is drone footage shot at the very end of the first day of shooting out at the Salt Flats, the sun long gone down. The world so blue. You can see our tiny set, the tub out on the water, just a smudge on the earth. It’s like we’ve catapulted onto the SpaceMan’s back, flying back to see what we missed.*
*So now, for this “reprise” segment, we get to go the furthest behind-the-scenes yet. Before we finish the eat-cake-on-camera ritual, we must see it all as it has really been — glimpses at least. #behindthescenes
3J.
I wasn’t even there when this was shot. After the final “official” shot of the day — with the tar & the feathers & the water pouring over me… the end of the “official” vision scene… I ran directly to the car with Jose & we drove back to the truck stop not that far away with the Indian restaurant attached. There were showers there you could pay to use. We showered in hot water, finally. I’d been cold all day. But, we took too long…*
*especially jose (sorry, babe!)
But, gratefully, wonderfully, they continued to shoot. The drone stuff & this shot, too, and the lovely shot of Doug you’ll see with his title-card at the end. This stuff on the film turned out really cool, very dark & contrasty compared to before. This is Sid in the helmet, here. And, I like the idea of glimpsing the SpaceMan as he’d headed back through the door after a hard day’s work, headed back to Kolob (& beyond!)**
**I had to.
3K.
This is me waiting to dunk under the water on the first shot of the day, the first take of the day. You glimpse me near the Bolex as Doug runs the camera. Then, we spin around with the camera (yes, there is a cut hidden in there, though) until we land back on me as Doug gets in his spot for the GH5 shot & gives me the signal, cuing me to go ahead & dunk under. To begin.
3L.
This is a shot I took on my iPhone as Lindsey made-up the fake sore on my belly. She did an awesome job. I loved the way it turned out — just a sore patch & fake flesh & blood capsules. She has the blood on her lips because she had to break the capsule with her teeth. One of the many sacrifices this girl made that day to keep the production & me running along.
Also, I love the little glimpse of Aaron & the lamp at the end. And, how you can see my parents car with the trailer attached to it in the background, all our stuff sprawled out around it.
3M.
This is Jose, Doug, & Sid placing the tub at the very start of the day. Bundled up, because it’s cold. The footage taken on my iPhone & sped up to sort of mimic old movies, the look altered.
3N.
This is Lindsey removing the tape from the door after we’d painted it to reveal it’s final look.* I loved it immediately. It was perfect. I had taped it — she had painted it. And, it was perfect.
*filmed this on my iphone, too.
3O.
I love how you can see the whole base camp set up here in the back ground. Our awnings & tables, & blankets held up to block the wind, tarps spread out on the salty ground, a glimpse of the gas can & the generator that didn’t work — all the junk.
3P.
Love this little Easter Egg of Doug headed to shut off the GH5 after cutting on the Bolex. I knew as soon as I found it hidden in the footage that it would find its way into the movie. I also love how you can clearly see that Jose is barefoot here, which is crazy because it was crazy crazy cold out that day. #HeHeMan
3Q.
OH no… I may have to vote again. Because, really, sincerely, THIS ONE is probably, technically, my favorite shot in the film. I adore that Doug decided to roll on this & love all the flash frames at the beginning of the take. This is literally me & Jose* running to the car (to go to the truck stop & take our hot showers) after the final shot with the tar & the feathers & the water sending me back. THIS is the real thing, real life — the realest thing in the movie. It’s my favorite moment, maybe that’s more fair to say. And you can see, if you look closely, that I’m wearing my Pop’s socks, falling off because they’re so wet.
*I love the way he looks running in the spaceman robe, holding my hand, hair blowing in the wind.
3R.
And, I love that Doug thinks to pan back to the tub after we’re far in the distance, Linds already starting to clean up the tub, & Sid walking back to Doug, looking dope in his top hat.
3S.
Then, naturally, in the footage, there’s the perfect flash frame in order to transition back to the “present” — back to the cake.
3T.
We get a little repeat action here as we enter back in to the moment. The kiss on the cheek again* — and that smile again. That’s a true BJB little-girl-giddy excited smile. It’s time. THE MOMENT we’ve all been waiting for. My final action I perform for the film — the eating of the cake on camera with my friends.
And I just dive in — face first — to that whole cake because I can.
*the kiss this time ironically cues the ending lyrics to the theme song sang by theodore. the lyrics are bitter-sweet and wonderful. meant to reference our relationship specifically but in this moment I love the way they function as sort of a reflection on life generally, the clumsy beauty of it that goes too fast.
3U.
I love this angle, looking down all the duckies in a row & my friends in a row, too, in bathtubs eating cake for me. I love that you can see Lindsey’s white rabbit tattoo on her face & the look on that face when she takes a giant bite on my behalf.
3V.
I love the movement at the beginning of this shot. I can’t even recall who operated this off the top of my head (Alekh, I think? Good job, bud!) I love how Doug sort of taps his cupcake first.*
*You get a good look at the gold plates here.
3W.
I love how the magic of editing here makes it seem like Doug eats his cupcake all in one go, one big stuffing bite. And his reaction here is everything. The raised arms, the head back. That’s the unabashed pleasure the ritual is about. It’s like for a moment he forgets he’s on camera at all. It’s the final shot of the film, the final act of the film. And they both earned those goddamn cupcakes, I assure you. Afterwards, I go up to them, wearing my panda suit, & say “That’s a…” And Doug says, Is it, though? Is it really?? BJB: “That’s a wrap!”*
*And it was.
3X.
I love this little move around Robin here. And, the way she just goes for it with the licking of the fingers. Pure indulgence — that’s what I told them to exhibit. And here, I’m actually talking to Robin from off-camera, wearing my panda onesie, telling her she’s a bad, bad girl for eating that cake. She was on a very serious & strict diet that she broke just for me. That’s love.
3Y.
I’ll admit, there’s something grotesquely sexual about the two of us sharing the cake & sharing the tub & sharing the cake between our mouths as we kiss. It’s like pop primal. And, I’d worry sometimes that it’d seem like because Jose & I were together in the end that it’d seem like I had to get a man. But to me, it’s the parallel to nearly every male story where a girl came with the ending. And this time, it’s supposed to signify that he’s been here the whole time. He’s the SpaceMan; he’s the empowering partner who helped me make all of this happen. So the cake & the enjoying & the appreciating is done together.
3Z.
I like how you can see me knock a little ducky off the side of the tub here as I move towards the camera to eat more cake on film.
3aa.
That shot again. DAMN. The smoke rising off the water…
3bb.
The lil’ shoulder kiss. Everything.
3cc.
There is so much cake in my mouth.
3dd.
Could the film have run out at a more perfect time or burned out more beautifully than it did here at just the right moment?*